A Fish Tale.
One interest I have from time to time is fish and aquariums. Years ago, a young lady that I rode for managed a rather upscale pet store. She generously gave me a 22 gallon aquarium complete with the most modern filtering system, beautiful back drop, fake plants, little statues, a heater, light, thermometer, some sort of chemical and a few items to maintain all with. I warned her of my lack of skills. Over and over I told her how lethal I am to fish and plants. She assured me she would guide me through it all, and my family and I would love the little aquatic world that she would help me set up.
With that, we filled the aquarium, she added some stuff and said she would return a few days later with fish. For two days I admired the water world quietly gurgling away. I imagined the beautiful, colorful fish that would soon be happily swimming in this colorful “box”. It would all be fine- she was an expert.
In a couple of days, she arrived with many fish. We went through some 20 minute process to acclimate the new fish to their new environment and then the fish were released. I sat back to admire the living painting we had created. I’ll admit it was not quite what I had pictured. The fish were white. Bug eyed. Pot bellied. Some were white with just a streak of color. They swam very slowly. I asked what kind they were; I forget the name, but even the name was plain. She quickly explained these fish were very hardy- perfect for first time aquarium managers. I sighed and understood. Practical is seldom pretty.
For a short time all went very well. Although it was not what I pictured, we certainly enjoyed the fish and found it relaxing to watch the albino-bug-eyed-pot-bellied-lethargic fish. One day I walked past the aquarium and was instantly agitated at our then very young son for throwing the piece of popcorn in the aquarium and now it was all swelled up floating at the top. Immediately I went to retrieve it- of course then realizing it was not popcorn. It was the first fatality of the albino-bug-eyed-pot-bellied-lethargic fish school. And much like popcorn, more soon followed to the top.
A phone call to my expert friend, followed with the interrogation on whether I had followed her instructions explicitly. I whined defensively that of course I had. No matter now, no autopsies, just a trip to the swirly graveyard. I apologized and reminded her that she had been warned.
She brought a few more varieties of fish, and took a more active role in the maintenance, but alas, none survived for very long. My fish raising self-esteem plummeted. Finally I decided to heck with it. Although she made her living with this fish stuff, I would take matters into my own hands and put what I wanted in there. With reckless abandonment, I went to the nearby large discount store and bought many fish, several varieties, based strictly on their looks. None were very expensive mind you- I’m stupid- but cheap.
Disastrous. Apparently there are personalities of fish. Some are timid- some are warrior like. They should not be mixed. The warrior fish chased the timid fish, which soon stressed out and died. The warrior fish died shortly thereafter-presumably from being stressed from chasing the timid fish. I still have terrible guilt over creating the doom of the water wars.
The tank sat empty for awhile, but after a visit to my parents house I came home with renewed hope. I’ve always felt I inherited my plant and fish ineptness from my mother, and she had several fish alive. These were goldfish! They had survived for quite awhile. Sometimes they lived outside in a little pond in the garden, where they survived the summer weather, cats, and an occasional raccoon. The ones they could catch would move inside for winter and live in a tank that from the looks of the algae build up, was not meticulously cared for. Heck even some that did not get caught out of the garden pond managed to survive the winter! Now THAT was a fish I could handle- and a bonus- they are very inexpensive.
I bought a few goldfish, and while one or two weaker ones perished quickly, a few were tough and survived. These in fact lived for a quite awhile, and I learned that tactful neglect was the best way to keep fish. They are easily over fed, and tanks are easily kept too clean and both are fatal to fish.
Over the years the aquarium has seen more than a normal number of fish. We have a high turnover rate around here. For a brief time last summer it housed a couple of turtles brought in from the golf course pond. They survived and were later released to another pond. Today the tank sits there empty. I’ve been thinking about getting it going again, but when I mention it, Ern will gently say, “honey, please don’t get any more fish- it’s just cruel.” I know he is right, so “For Sale: One 22 gallon aquarium with many accessories. Possibly cursed.” I’m letting my fish desires go the way of many of our past fish. Down the crapper as they say.